Love Can Never Be Undone

The truth is, if you have loved someone, you will always love them. Even if time, or space, or misunderstandings come in the way.

He who is able to hate a person after having “loved” that person never truly or actually loved that person. Rather, he lied here or there.

He lied if he claimed to love, or he lied when he hated.

Either way, such a person is not true to himself or his words, and is not able to understand what these two things are — love and its absence (hate).

One who loves cannot hate after having loved. Love does not exist on the level of emotions and feelings. It cannot change with the wind. It is something that is holy, sacred, and deep in the heart. Nothing can undo its trace and nothing can take its place. If anyone reaches the level of love for someone, that is a point of no-return.

When it comes to relationships today, the majority of experiences that people call “love” are nothing more than ‘jahiliyah,’ which is a concept in the Islamic art of personal development that refers to superficial action, impulsivity, reaction, or self-serving interaction.

Most people mistake sentimentality for love. Sentimentality lives at the level of the mental, not the rational — or what is yet deeper: the heart where true emotions lie, or the soul where true spiritual care is felt for another.

We see it with couples: today, he gives all for her, and she gives all for him. Tomorrow, they are angry; now he wants to take everything from her, she wants to take everything from him. Where did your love go? What love were you talking about in the first place?

And we see it with friends: today, it’s all admiration and words of praise; tomorrow, when there’s nothing in it for one of them, or it’s inconvenient, or misunderstanding, frustration, and disappointments take place— well, we all know what happens. In other words, loyalty is not given a chance to develop. Loyalty is when love is real. Loyalty is the fruit of actual love that rests deep inside a person, and has found its niche from which no storm can pluck it.

Do you know what kind of love you have for those you say you love? Ask yourself if it’s centred on a desire to nourish, give, and contribute to the wellbeing of the person you love (do you pray for him or her?). Ask if it is laced with a sense of appreciation and gratitude to God for having created that person. Ask yourself if his or her errors and flaws — while they may annoy you — never manage to reduce your love for him or her.

If you can’t say yes to these questions, then what you have is not worthy of being called love. Love is sacred, holy, and eternal.